Fall
by jemisard
Summary: He Fell, but for all the right reasons. PreCreation story, mild CrowleyAziraphale


It was a long time ago... or maybe that should be a long time before anything.

Calaeil, an angel of little importance, swung his, for the lack of any better term, legs over the edge of heaven, looking down into the void. He knew that something big was happening up here, and something big was going to be happening down there at some point. He could feel it in his wings.

A slight indent in the cloud behind him told him of a presence. He looked up to the other immortal, smiling when he saw who it was.

"Come and sit with me."

The other angel sat down, drawing his wings around his form. Calaeil smiled at him and looked out across the void. "What do you think is happening?"

The other angel, who happened to be called Aziraphale, shrugged. He was slightly higher ranking than his friend, but he had never really bought into the whole ranking thing, not seeing why any of His children needed to be better than each other. "I don't know."

They sat in silence for a few long moments, watching the darkness that defied dark. Raw possibility at their fingertips, just outside the reach of Heaven.

"Ever wonder if we could do it?"

Aziraphale blinked and looked over at the large brown eyes that regarded him so solemnly. "Do what?"

"Make things. Like we were made."

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes. "Have you been listening to Lucifer again?"

Calaeil smiled and shrugged and stared out again. "He was talking to Gabriel. I was nearby. There's nothing wrong with listening. Seems rude not to when someone talks."

Aziraphale thought about that, watching Calaeil's profile. The other angel was different somehow, not different to how he had been, different from other angels. He always had been.

He questioned a lot.

"Aziraphale?"

"Yes?" He brought himself back to the present.

"Why are you higher ranked than me? I watched Him create you, I remember it, and we can do the same things, so why do I have to defer to you?"

Aziraphale sighed. Calaeil got in these moods sometimes. "Because He said so."

"But why did He says so? Why not say, well, I love you all, you can all be equal?" He looked out with a frown. "Except he doesn't love us all equally. He loves some more than others."

"That isn't true, Calaeil, you know it." Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably.

"Do I? Why does he spend so much time fussing over Lucifer? He loves Lucifer more than the rest of us. He smothers him."

Aziraphale couldn't answer that. He knew it was true. God did favour his first born an awful lot. "Lucifer's different."

"How? He's only different because He made him that way." Calaeil glared at the void where light was streaming out now, condensing into a sphere. "I guess He's going to finish off the land."

"Looks like it." Aziraphale coloured slightly and looked away. He hadn't told Calaeil that he was going to be going down to Earth. The other angel would be upset at losing his only real friend.

"What are you hiding, Aziraphale?" Calaeil narrowed his eyes. "You've gone red, you only do that when you're hiding something."

"I'm going away for a while," Aziraphale said quietly.

"How long?"

The blonde shrugged and avoided looking at his friend. "A while. I'm going to Earth, when it's finished. I have to watch over it."

Calaeil looked at him intently, not really comprehending what the younger angel was saying. "But when are you coming back? When can I see you again?"

"I don't know, Calaeil. He told me I had to stay down there for a while. I might not come back for some time."

The brown eyes went wide. "But... I have to stay here. Does that mean I can't see you?"

Aziraphale said nothing.

"Aziraphale? Tell me! Does that mean I can't see anymore?!"

Blue eyes met brown, both torn in some kind of desperate need to deny everything. Calaeil's lip trembled, and though tears were not unheard of in heaven, never before had Aziraphale seen them.

Diamond drops, like water, rolled down the other angel's cheeks. He reached out to pull his friend close, but the older angel pulled away. "Don't. It'll make it hurt more when you leave."

Aziraphale looked at his lap. "He does these things for a reason. He knows what He's doing."

"He wants me to hurt." Calaeil stated. He stood up and looked over the green and blue sphere that lazily twisted beneath them. They heard the first laugh from the planet as Adam and Eve touched and smiled at each other, happy.

Aziraphale smiled and looked down at them. "I need to go, Calaeil." He stood up and kissed the other angel softly on the cheek. "I'll see you again."

He stepped off the edge, wings flattening back as he dived down.

Calaeil stared after him, reaching to his cheek, feeling the warmth still there. The humans got to be happy. Why couldn't he?

A sudden yell made him look to where Lucifer stood, screaming at Him. He walked closer, saw the same trails running down the first angel's cheeks that covered his.

God watched with that sickening benevolent smile, not understanding at all.

One of the other angels came close. He was dark, like the void had been, and there was burning in him now. Calaeil looked up at him with a confused look.

"Hurting?"

He nodded, his hand still on his cheek.

"He took Aziraphale from you."

He nodded again.

"Come with us. It'll stop hurting. You can be with Aziraphale again. We'll let you join him."

Calaeil smiled. He could go be with his friend. He looked at the other angel, who wasn't an angel.

A yell came from Michael as he charged Lucifer, and the first born went tumbling from the gates, still screaming.

Calaeil blinked, and more of the other angels, angels who were going strange and dark, were being thrown out. The one who made him the offer was gone, tumbling, lacking any of the grace that Aziraphale had shown.

And they were tumbling deeper, further, downwards and on.

A hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up at Michael and at his Father, eyes wide with confusion and hurt.

"You can turn back, Calaeil. Don't listen to them. We love you."

He looked at Earth, and at God. "Can I go down there with Aziraphale?"

God shook his head. Michael looked at him pityingly. "Earth is not ready for you, Calaeil."

He looked down, lip trembling. He wanted to join Aziraphale. He loved Aziraphale. He hurt to think about the other angel. "Please?"

God shook his head again.

"If you love God above all, you don't need Aziraphale."

Calaei looked a God, looked at Earth and thought. He loved God, he really did, but Aziraphale...... he was special.

He smiled at God. "I'm sorry, Father."

God nodded and lay a hand on Michael, drawing him away.

Calaeil smiled. He felt better already. He loved Aziraphale, he didn't need anything else. He would go down with the others and then come back up to Earth.

He slowly walked downwards, and while the smoke turned his wings black and his eyes yellow from the stinging, he did not go dark.

He had Fallen.

But he Fell for all the right reasons.

-The End-

Note 1- Calaeil is a variation on a Latin word meaning "Curiousity".


End file.
